Having difficulty finding what really engages you?

You have ability. You can succeed at most things that you turn your hand to, but nothing is juicy for you. You still, after much searching, exploring and trying things, don’t know what to do with your life. Or maybe you have found it, but you cannot actually engage with it.

In last weeks blog, I explored hidden, buried or disowned intensity as one of the reasons that could explain a deep systematic boredom. As I explained in the article, a first step out of this kind of boredom is to acknowledge this intensity. For some, however, they already know they are intense and they are still not able to engage it. Why is that?

In my work with clients, I have found that this is most frequently because though they know the intensity is there, they have not faced it fully. It is like something that follows them around. They are aware of it out of the corner of their eye, but they prefer not to face it directly.

For many of us owning and facing our intensity is challenging. This can be for many different reasons. Perhaps circumstances of childhood did not allow anger to be expressed, or traumatic experiences left us traumatised. Maybe it is self-judgement that says that is just too dangerous to look at, not to mind owning and expressing. So instead of taking charge of this intensity, it is left lurking around in the background of our consciousness, with all its intense vital life-force unexpressed. There, it still exerts influence on our lives causing us to engage in certain behaviours which either ensure that it never gets fully or cleanly expressed, or it leaks out into the dynamics of our relationships.

What does your intensity look like? My intensity scared me. For years, I knew it was there and though I had been working on bringing it to the surface, part of me was quite happy to keep it in the dark. Before I describe it, though, I want to share the benefits of uncovering it. Firstly, my life got more interesting. I started to enjoy doing things that I never before had I even imagined wanting to do. I had more energy for living. I have a lot more fun. And I started living my own Outrageous Life.

When I did finally face it, it was very confronting. It was buried so long because it was linked to anger. This anger is violent, destructive and in it’s blindest moments doesn’t give a f*^! for the consequences of it’s actions. I discovered my own “boot boy”, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

What I discovered in confronting it was, though I had a buried anger that was riding on this intensity, the intensity it’s self is not anger. It is simply a force – a force that when harnessed can be engaged for living.

I have no doubt that had I let the anger, powered by this force, loose as a child, I would have gotten into deep trouble. Living in circumstances where there was no room for anger to be expressed I am grateful that I buried it.

However, I also understand that had my parents been able to meet me and match me in my anger in a clean, direct and powerful way, my life would have been very different than it was. My anger would have had room to express and move on, and the force that it was riding would have been available for living. The force that was sent underground would have powered my life and my career from much earlier on.

As an adult, facing it, I had the skills to hold myself as a solid, strong and powerfully healthy parent might have held me as a child.
Could this be your story – an intensity that is linked to some powerful emotion that, when faced, could power your life, enabling you to finally engage in life with passion and enthusiasm?

If you are interested in unhitching your intensity from whatever uncomfortable emotion that is keeping it hidden, book a breakthrough session to explore your options.

More insights on how to step out of boredom will be coming soon. In the meantime why not try the Boredom Barometer and assess your boredom levels and your readiness to embrace change.

Brigid Walsh-Byrne of www.LiveYourOutrageousLife.com specialises working with IT professionals who know boredom intimately and who are ready to embrace their own outrageousness and step into vibrant life.

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